DIVA, New Face in Fashion

It’s really big, glitzy, and glamorous and its editor-in-chief is none other than Rhea Saran.
Under her expert guidance, DIVA has grown into America's No.2 fashion magazine, outselling such national titles as Vogue, Vanity Fair, Harper’s Bazaar, Elle and GQ on local news stands.


Savvy and articulate, Rhea, with questionable indeterminable years of experience in the industry, frequently speaks at local events about the virtues of “hard work”, and is heavily involved with civic activities, related to singing and dancing.

When she's not hard at work or dodging advances from her only male co-worker, Rhea enjoys her outdoor lifestyle, including jogging, dancing at parties, and playing mom with her only son. She has perfected the 'balancing act' between career and family by ignoring her bitter, insecure husband's nagging presence, and feels dance-clubs can be therapeutic.


left to right:
1. dancing
2. only male co-worker
3. female subordinates
kabhi alvida na kehna

oh those firemen...

Saturday, 6:30 am. It's the second time that the fire alarm goes off. Groggy and disoriented, I run downstairs to discover someone pulled a nasty prank on us residents. The icing of the cake? I have locked myself out of my apartment. A happy start of a weekend.

And then come those firemen... aaah, thank life for those wonderful creations of nature. And thank me for goofing up. Packaged just as ordered. Yes, a happy start of a weekend indeed.

one of those days... no point to make

4 penguins perish in freak Texas truck accident: Octopus unhurt, exotic fish not as lucky en route to temporary home Yepp! They are LIVE allright... cute and cuddly too.
“The rest of the penguins kind of stayed together in the ditch... We’ve worked several wrecks involving cows, horses, pigs, even fish, but this is the first where the live animals were penguins.”

The accident could've been worse, says Texas Dept of Public Safety Trooper Richard Buchanan.
“There was another truck full of snakes and alligators that was an hour ahead of them, so luckily we didn’t have to deal with the alligators.”

In case anyone's interested, the Octopus was bound for Moody Gardens, a tourist destination in Galveston... ... nothing. Just thought it was one of those days.

Me-times and Me-spaces

My 'chu-ha' has asked me to give her some space. She needs her privacy she said. She said she wishes she could choose her own goddamn owner. That were her exact words... "goddamn owner"!! What the f**k is that all about??

Chu-ha! I can squish you like a bug! Do you know that?! Silly dog! Yes, I said it! Silly DOG!

heat, sweat and sea breeze

day 0.5:
My over-enthusiastic buddy frowns at me suspiciously and wonders if I am sick. I flash an apologetic smile and wonder in amazement at the Samuel Adams statue next to me. She doesn't look too convinced.

I am on one of the fancy-schmancy tourist "trolleys" to kill 3 hours before my hotel check-in. The pictorial maps with handsomely drawn landmarks, the thick red, green and blue route lines do not look too promising after a whole night of flight, 95 deg of heat and 110% humidity. 3 days, 4 nights, 30 landmarks, 10 landmarks per day, 3 overlapping circles to conquer, X marks the coffee places as bases for attack. I start doing the math fast, as I would on exam nights. Must see historical sites, must see Harvard, must see Trinity Church, must take pictures, the voice in my head nags. Shut up! I don my shades to doze-off as the over-friendly tourist guide in his garish costume flashes his nice dentures, and drones on in heavy superlatives. Zzzz... mall, John Hancock... zzzz... hardrock cafe, Ben Franklin.... zzzz... graveyards, Beacon street... zzzz... finally a tap on my shoulder, we have reached back to the hotel.

day 01:
Quick peek into the Convention Center, quick registration, Exhibitions, Animation theatres... Not one to live in guilt, I decide to assure my over-enthusiastic buddy that I am still pursuing "the cause". I flip the bird at the screen midway and walk out of the animation theatre... a rare act on my side I should admit... to my over-enthusiastic buddy's dismay. Run, run, run while there's still time... run for the sake of humanity...

X marks the spot. Starbucks. Probably the most wonderful place on earth. Arched passageway with vines. Blue port with white boats. Downtown view. And sea wind. And the gulls. Yes, indeed the most wonderful place on earth. I snug in a chair, with an iced mocha, my ciggies, and a book. No, not one to live in guilt. A boy on roller skates sneaks up, leaves a card on my table and flees. The card shows a new line of underwear... WowUnderwear, the W taking the shape of a curvy hip and thong. Aaah... found my bookmark. I look at the pesky tourists on trolleys, loud tourist guides, and snigger at their helplessness. Get out, save yourselves... I want to say to a guy in the trolley who gives back a blank stare and a confused smirk.

day 02:
Convention Center, old school mates, professors, lunch engagement with school advisor. I have a stupid grin on my face, that exudes from being stupidly happy. Can happiness ever be stupid? People smile back... curious about my nonchalant, non-scurring art of living? Or at my wayward perkyness? I decide to act like a tourist for another 3 hours and visit Harvard square. I take a picture like a true tourist, touching one foot of Harvard himself... pleading my brain to erase that memory afterwards. I am ashamed to have touched someone's foot and smile gloriously. The humble courtyards calm me down. "In the presence of knowledge and greatness" I mutter to myself. My over-enthusiastic buddy, who by now has learnt to live with my idiosyncracies, looks at me with an understanding smile. She seems pleased with my placidity.

It's past noon, time to go back to my "watering hole". I sit near a deck this time, next to my coffee-place, one that I've discovered losing my way the last time. An open-air Opera starts just in time. The aria wails through the sea wind... my first live Opera! I read a book on Pirates and smell the wet sea air, and look at the gulls. I laugh to myself. The book is really funny.

day 03:
A friend accompanies me to my watering hole this time. I have successfully established a ritual, marked a sense of belonging in a strange city. We talk about life in general. A dark tan on my already brown skin displays my glory days in the sun. I look like a layered chocolate cake, a punishment for wearing clothes. My plane leaves soon. I say proper goodbyes to the people, to the hustle and bustle, to the heat, the dampness of the sea breeze, and to my lazy two afternoons... time to go back home, where other rituals await.

nymph-o-mania: the good, the bad & the muddled

"Come seek us where our voices sound,
We cannot sing above the ground,
And while you're searching, ponder this;
We've taken what you'll sorely miss..."

Sirens (greek); Selkies (scotland); Merrows (ireland); Merry Maid (cornwall);
Lorelei & Meerfrau (germany); Rusalka (russia); Mermaid (hans christian anderson);
Narf (shyam-osaurus)
Nymphs seduce men. They entice tired handsome travelers and keep them hostage under the cold dark water for the rest of their unfortunate(?) lives.
Sirens (bird-women turned nymphs) sing hypnotic songs to lure sailors into destruction.
Merpeople "do not take kindly to those who enter their domain". They do not sing, but screech when above water. They have yellow eyes, broken teeth, wear chokers of shark fangs and carry spears to poke anyone who enters "their domain".
Mermaids, the fairer and kinder of merpeople, fall in love with mere mortals, give up their voices alongwith their immortality to be with one, and eventually turn into sea-foam to sing to lost sailors.
Narfs are confused nymphs with absolutely no mystical powers. They have bad hair-do, bewildered looks, and whiter-than-white albino skin that separate them from the rest of us. They come from the "Blue World" to warn, help and "awaken" humankind. Humans carry them around and use sign-language to communicate during narf-ous breakdowns.

Hylas & the nymphs: artist Waterhouse, 1896	Merpeople: harry potter (goblet of fire)
Sirens: artist Herbert Draper, 1909	Narfs: Shyamalanesque Lady in the Water

Shyam-Alan, you are still a cutie...

my whacky God, where are you?

Hermes kills Argus, artist Velazquez
Aphrodite/Venus, Goddess of Love and Desire, had an affair with Ares/Mars, the God of War. Love and Conflict goes back a long way.
The gloomy God of Death and Underworld, Hades/Pluto, abducted and married Persephone, Goddess of Fertility, only to set her free in spring and summer to create new life. Life and Death are symbiotic after all.
Athena/Minerva, Goddess of Skill and Wisdom, had grey eyes, and sprang from Zeus' skull. Where else can wisdom spring from?
Neptune/Poseidon had dangerous mood swings, had a knack for making sea-monsters, and was pretty bad at creating land animals. That's what being hormonal is like... welcome to my world.

'morning after' at a celebration of Dionysus, artist Alma-Tadema
The oldest Greek tragedies were religious rituals of sacrificing goats on stage, to honor Dionysus/Bacchus, the God of Wine and Tragedy. Wine and tragedy, well I'll be damned...
Cupid/Eros, son of Aphrodite, was a sadistic God who had gold tipped arrows to make people fall in love, or lead-tipped ones to dull passion. He married Psyche, the personification of human soul. Eroticism strives to become beautiful with a touch of soul.
Artemis/Diana, Goddess of moon, never married, loved skinny-dipping, and turned spying men into stags. You go girl!
Hermes/Mercury, God of travelers and thieves, was swift, clever and athletic with winged heels, and stole sacred cows of Helios, the God of Sun. Eccentricity has it's downs...
Circe, the beautiful sorceress, had power for spiritual purification, and turned men into pigs. Spiritual purification and turning men into pigs jive well together.
Apollo/Helios, God of Sun, Light, Music and Healing was possessive, ruthless and was famous for his mortal loves. He sent prophecies through Oracles in sacred shrines. No comment.

A Rembrandt of Hades kidnapping Persephone
Zeus kills Phaëthon, son of Helios, artist Sebastiano Ricci
Zeus & Hera, by James Barry

Venus in Botticelli painting. 'Calumny' is the female holding a torch, dragging a man. Ignorance & Suspicion, whisper to Authority. Treachery & Deceit, arrange Calumny's hair. Scrawny Envy, gains a hearing for Calumny.

Zeus, God of Sky and Lightning, ruler of Gods on Mount Olympus, seduced humans, nymphs and other beings, sexual fidelity never his strong point. Power and promiscuity feed on each other.
Hera/Juno, Goddess of Happy Marriage, wife of Zeus, ironically spent vengeful, spiteful times tormenting Zeus' lovers and illegitimate children. Nobody can hold a grudge like her. That's like a true wife!
Anemoi, the Wind Gods, (Boreas, Notus, Zephyr, Volturnus, Eurus and Aeolus) were imprisoned by Gods in stables, and would be let loose by Hera to cause disaster. Hell hath no fury...
Hephaestus/Vulcan, God of fire, forge and craftsmanship was crippled after Zeus flung him from the heavens in rage. He married Aphrodite and had a trio of cyclopean assistants. Spent much of his life chasing Aphrodite's lovers..
Aurora/The Dawn, "rose-fingered" Goddess, painted colorful morning skies from Isle of Aeaea. Yawn!


Zeus' daughters: the nine muses depicted by Raphael

Final Words:
My muses have left me. All my nine muses have left me, one by one.
I am suffocating in my museless existence.

umm...

... nothing.
Just feeling like this since morning... Useless and ... pouty.




Bollywood hero Shahrukh Khan in Devdaas

my new 'it' guy

Kevin Smith | Silent Bob speaks!
one long entertaining speech on
Superman, giant spiders, gay R2D2 and Tim Burton.

summer camp no-nos

while we are still on this

Don’t Talk With Your Mouth Full…
"I'm not going to talk too long like the rest of them. Some of these guys talk too long. Gotta go home. Got something to do tonight."


Permutations and ruminations

unleash the kraken!

I have nothing against giant squids gobbling up ships, or 50 ft. long hungry sharks upturning boats with men (and naked girls)... ... or lustful, temperamental Gods on horseback, lurking around gardens to snatch away mortal (naked) women... ...

the collage (right) was created from various artists' sketches found on google images

... Actually I am all for it.
Fantasies are truer than truth itself. And graphic depictions have never lied back to me. Nor has my imagination. Since I was 8 years old. This book on Renaissance paintings that I discovered in the attic... the keyhole to my vast wonderland... that nobody has yet succeeded in zapping me out of.

While this movie was dragging on and on for hours... I was busy inspecting the over-active suckers on the slithery tentacles of kraken... suckers with minds of their own... the fish-scaled mutated green bodies, fungi-clad, worm-ridden faces with hyper-ventilating sea anemones for parasites... I watched it all with bated breath. There was no other reason actually…




... well, there was one. To see Bugs Bunny run... slanting backwards... did I mention it's a Disney movie?

Jack Sparrow... Bravo! You got the whole bunny thing down pat.

to speed up the slow

hmm... ... just thinking about it makes me realize how long it's been I haven't seen a good movie (after post: the slow list, july 06). Well, to push things further, here is a site desimusic.com which will help you get list of hindi movies. (Click on either movies, actors or actresses) It will freshen up your dusty, cobweb cluttered memory. Not only should we make an official list of "Top critically-acclaimed, yet commercial disaster movies" but also crown the actor/actress who starred in most of those our king or queen of tragedy.
After this, we will move on to the Hollywood movies... that'll be fun actually! Al Pacino, Al Pacino and Al Pacino.

sell your soul to the devil

after the cross-pollinating bee, july 4th, 2006, Every super-duper hit movie in India these days, is followed by a buzz for an Oscar nomination... further followed by disappointment and wonder at why such "great" movies are not being acknowledged by Hollywood as masterpieces. Example, Asoka, Devdaas, Paheli only to name a few. Here are the Indian movies that got nomination for best foreign language movies so far:
01. Mother India (1957) -- an epic saga of the struggles and sufferings of an Indian peasant woman
02. Salaam Bombay (1988) -- about street children of Bombay, in the world of drug addicts, pimps & prostitutes (strangely similar in theme to Born into Brothels: Calcutta's Red Light Kids, directed by Zana Briski, which ended up with the golden dude)
03. Lagaan (2001) : fictional patriotic movie on Indian villagers fighting their British rulers

If you notice, "poverty" ( or is it "struggle for a better life"?) was the underlying theme for all these 3 movies... in other words "keeping it real" to what India was, or probably still is to the western world. For your amusement, some interesting excerpts from some of Academy's foreign language film committee members:
"We look at the films from the American point of view. What happens (in Bollywood films) is that in the middle of the scene suddenly (the actors) start jumping up and dancing and singing, which, to us, is ridiculous. When we see an Indian film and that happens, we don't know how to react to it. That's the problem."
"Lot of people walk out of films, because they get very boring. It is not out of disrespect. It is out of the fact that we have to see so many movies and we can't just sit there and be bored."

I guess Ms. Mira Nair leaves no stones unturned to make sure she is being recognized (?!). In her article, she questions, "And if the West is now waking up to our energy and confidence, will we be tempted to change? Will Oscar fever mean we temper our spice to suit Western palates?" ... then answers in mock defiance, "They'd better be careful. Soon this country will be run by people who look like us." and finally gives in... "The key to every seesaw is balance". Done with the street children of Bombay, and a colorful Indian wedding with songs and dances, she is moving on to "Namesake" (on migration and displacement) and "Gangsta MD" (hardcore commercial, which in her own words, hollywood is paying "good money" for). "India is still too far" her jaded friend had vented 18 years ago at the Oscars. Too far from what? Oscars? yes dear... if you keep losing your way and digress everytime. And with Gangsta MD, why do I get the feeling that was never the point to begin with?

On a side note, Satyajit Ray was the only Indian filmmaker who received an honorary Oscar (Life Time Achievement Award)... who's "World of Apu" got the Golden Globes at best. And this is one person who was never famous for compromising his integrity for commercial success.
And on a really really different note, how to sell your soul to the devil ... (for 18 and up, read at your own risk, bashkaranjohar.com will not be held responsible for your actions).

another one for my pandora's box

Jonathan Rhys-Meyers
Match Point.